Hey
Trinity,
I’m openly gay and seeing a closeted guy for a couple of weeks. He
hasn’t even kissed me yet. Am I wasting my time?
Kissless, Atlanta, Ga.
Hey Kissless,
Some (closeted) men won’t kiss till they’re sure they like
someone. Some men hang around hoping they’ll become interested when
they’re not sure. And some men are too nice to say they’re
not interested for sure. That’s men, that’s dating and that’s
life, pumpkin. Give it a month, that’s all, and if there’s
no lip action you’re beating a closeted horse.
Dear Trinity,
I think my live-in boyfriend is stealing from me but he swears he’s
not. A few months ago I also caught him drinking when he swore he wasn’t.
If I can’t trust him, what should I do?
Caught Twice, Miami Beach, Fla.
Dear Caught Twice,
When someone lies the first time, make a mental note, but by the third
time make a dash for the door. Listen, honey, what a man says and does
is often not the same thing.
Hey Trinity,
I keep dating people I’m not attracted to, but because they’re
nice or generous I try until eventually I just can’t do it anymore.
How do I stop this pattern without giving up dating?
Trapped In Kindnessville, San Diego, Calif.
Hey Trapped In Kindnessville,
Being kind always takes precedece over selfishness, however, you are not
responsible for everyone’s feelings. We all create our own good and
bad situations so we can learn about life, love and about acceptance and
rejection. Now, sweetie, to stop this “mercy dating” — stop
accepting dates from people you’re unattracted to by saying “no” immediately,
wait before sleeping with anyone so no one gets hurt and start approaching
people you are attracted to. Dating means feeling an attraction, be it
intellectual, sexual or financial.
Dear
Trinity,
Last month I introduced my new boyfriend and his X-rated tattoos to my
parents. I’m afraid they’re still in shock. Why should I keep
secrets from my parents? Shouldn’t they be part of my life too?
Freedom Of Speech, Vancouver, B.C.
Dear Freedom Of Speech,
To be honest — no. Your parents are not your parole officers. They
need to be part of your life and the key word is “part.” You’ll
understand one day but for now start reading:
Trinity’s
Sexy Secrets, You Don’t Need To Share With Your Parents
Trinity’s
Sexy Secrets, You Don’t Need To Share With Your Parents
1. You don’t need to share your S&M fetish lifestyle. The latex
tuxedo you wore to your niece’s wedding was enough.
2. You don’t need to show off all your girlfriend’s tattoos.
Just because she thinks Jesus being eaten by Satan is cool, your parents
don’t have too.
3. You don’t need to disclose your fantasy-come-true relationship
with the Las Vegas stripper/porn star. The lap dance at your father’s
60th was enough.
4. You don’t need to share the trials and tribulations of your threesome
relationship. They live in Nebraska for God’s sake.
5. You don’t need to show off you and your boyfriend’s new
piercings just because your mother likes jewelry.
6. You really don’t need to share your lover’s new silicon
injected penis at your annual family summer
barbeque.
7. You don’t need to tell your father, his wife, your mother and
her lover about your boyfriend’s night in drag, leading to his arrest.
It’s not that funny.
8. You don’t need to let everyone know that you both take drugs strictly
for sexual purposes. Isn’t anything sacred?
9. You don’t need to tell Auntie Em that your new date is with the
Hells Angels. Didn’t she have enough troubles with your last ex, “the
hit man?”
10. Lastly, You don’t need to tell your 75-year-old mother on her
deathbed that your girlfriend is really a boy. It’s not always about
you.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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