Eventually, you must decide what truly turns you on
Hello Trinity,
I have always been heterosexual. But lately, while in bed with my girlfriend I keep fantasizing about her brother. I feel very guilty. Should I try and work it out with my girlfriend or break it off?
Sexually Guilty, Montgomery, Ala.
Hello Guilty,
You, my free-spirited pumpkin, need vital, professional input that I couldn’t give you in one paragraph, except to say that eventually you’ve got to decide who does arouse you. You may be bi, gay or simply not attracted to your girlfriend anymore. Everyone, in my opinion, is at least bisexual, if not different sexualities at different times in his or her life. So start researching yourself! You can’t have a healthy, lasting relationship with anyone until you have some healthy insight into yourself.
Hey Trinity,
Why can’t gay men deal with a second date?
Scary Seconds, Philadelphia, Pa.
Hey Seconds,
Most men between 18 and 60 have the attention span of a 10-year-old and gay men maybe have the attention span of a 13-year-old, which doesn’t leave much room for a second date, honey, never mind a second night away from playing with their favorite toy, themselves. Keep trying.
Dearest Trinity,
My husband/partner of four years has disclosed to me that he has been unfaithful. He says, “Fidelity takes time!” Well, doesn’t that just want to make you barf? What should I do?
Fidelity Troubles, Palm Springs, Calif.
Dearest Troubles,
Did your partner miss the wedding vow, “Thou shall not act like an animal?” You can leave him, work on it or live with his infidelity like most of us do. But no matter what, sweetie, keep an open mind. You know I’m sure there’s a meeting for this somewhere. (The cartoon can help explain the situation for the clueless.)
Hello Trinity,
After dating someone for a while I still haven’t slept over at his house. I’m so used to sleeping alone. I don’t want to appear neurotic. Help!
Stay Over Stumped, Louisville, Ky.
Hello Slumped,
I know what you’re talking about. It’s late, he’s snoring, the traffic’s roaring outside, the cat’s scratching your feet and you don’t want to complain. Been there, done that! So, here, darling, see if these help.
Trinity’s Polite Tips For Avoiding Complications When Sleeping Over At A Date’s House
1. If snoring bothers you then travel with earplugs. Also have your date sleep on his or her side facing away from you.
2. If you sleep with special, feathered pillows and/or a sound effects machine, place your requests in advance or bring these “specialty” items with you.
3. If you must get up and be on the road by dawn, but you know you both won’t get to sleep till after “Letterman,” shut up about it and enjoy the night or sleep over another time.
4. If you have dietary needs, bring your favorite foods (for two). Never assume your date has assorted coffees, juices or morning milk delivery.
5. If you’re allergic to dogs, cats, gerbils or pythons, let your date know before you end up a sneezy, itchy, runny nosed nightmare.
6. If you’re expecting your date to have contraceptives, then also expect to visit the VD or gynecologist clinic in a few days. Come prepared.
7. If your stomach is turning, your head is pounding or your poison ivy is resurfacing try sleeping over another night.
8. If you feel the meaningless need to put down, judge or make tacky comments about someone’s living space, stay home.
9 If you’re stuck on certain hair care products, bathing supplies, sleeping on a certain side of the bed or not being tied, I mean touched below the neck, good luck.
10. Lastly, if you assume nothing, ask for what you need, bring what you think will not be available and, just this once, go with the flow. You may get a sex-sational surprise.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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