When
is it time to start daily dating affirmation?
Hey
Trinity,
Why does dating always have to be so negative and draining? Isn’t
there some way for getting through the daily sludge of dating?
Sick O’Dating, Palo Alto, Calif.
Hey Sick O’Dating,
Dating is always going to be a challenge. That’s life, sweetie! But
to survive those draining nighttime dates it’s best to start every
morning with a dating affirmation. It’ll keep you positive-minded
and open-hearted. And it goes like this, “Dating is healthy, adventurous
and educational. With each fool…I mean date, I attract interesting,
healthy and supportive mates who treat me with respect and kindness. I
know being single and dating will bring me to a higher place. And I also
forgive all bad dates and trust they’ll lose their teeth someday.
I am woman here me roar… no, forget that last part!
Hello Trinity,
I dated this really interesting guy for a month before going to see his
place. Trinity, it was so dirty I couldn’t sit down. Now he wants
to continue dating but I can’t. Am I wrong for wanting out because
he’s so dirty?
Dirty Dating, New Orleans, La.
Hello Dirty Dating,
No, you’re not wrong for wanting out. Dating him will eventually
mean cleaning up after him, which may be just the start of many other issues.
But, pumpkin, it wouldn’t “mess him up” if you told him
the truth before ending it. Better luck next time.
Dear
Trinity,
I was recently invited to my straight friend’s wedding. I’m
gay and nervous about bringing my boyfriend. Would it be too selfish?
Wedding OUTings, Austin, Texas
Dear OUTings,
Being gay means being proud, out and ready for no one to really care about
your sexuality. Today being gay is a part of life. In other words, they’ll
deal with it in their own way. And anyway, honey, when gay couples go to
straight weddings everyone almost always assumes that they’re brothers,
unless they slow dance together and then everyone just thinks one of them
is blind.
Dearest
Trinity,
I’m dating a smoker and I’m a nonsmoker. I’m trying to
be accepting of it but it’s really not easy. Help!
Smoked Out, Montreal, Quebec
Dearest Smoked Out,
It’s hell, I know, baby. But there are a few lessons I have learned.
So here are:
Trinity’s
Unfiltered Tips
For Dating a Smoker
1.
Learn to sit: (downwind) (far away) (on the floor) when your date is
smoking.
2. Learn to light incense and carry breath mints.
3. Learn to calmly and non-confrontationally ask, “Can you move your
cigarette, darling: (to your other hand) (away from me) (so that the smoke
blows into someone else’s face)?”
4. Learn to control your mild depression and discomfort every time your
date lights up (as if it doesn’t bother you).
5. Learn to look at, smell and love the sight of a dirty ashtray.
6. Learn to constantly feel like a nag for having to ask, “Honey,
can you wash your hands and mouth from the cigarette before cooking our
food or kissing my face.”
7. Learn to hate being in closed quarters, especially cars when your date
begs, “Do you mind if I smoke, sweetie, I’ll keep the window
down.” (As if his smoke defies science and nature by not entering
the car.)
8. Learn to control your nervous twitch, snappy temper and dissatisfaction
for dating a smoker as the weeks, months and cigarettes burn by.
9. Learn to take breaks from your date so that he or she can smoke while
you’re nowhere in sight (crying over this smoky situation).
10. And, lastly, learn to finally break up with your date before killing
him, her or yourself for the torturous months of stink, disgust and disrespect
which has now driven you to smoking.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
<
