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trinity@telltrinity.com
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The girlfriend, the father, the relationship and the daughter

Dear Trinity,
I came out last year in my first lesbian
relationship. Next month my girlfriend and I plan to move to another state because of her job. However, I have a three-year-old daughter whose father is active in her life. Now, if I move, he wants custody. Help?
Daddy’s Little Girl, Virginia Beach, Va.

Dear DLG,
For gay custody/legal disputes Google the Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund. I worked for them in college. Now since this is about taking your daughter away, I must ask, is the father the real troublemaker or is it your girlfriend who wants to move you out of state? Being raised by two families is hard, but in two states, please. Who gets your daughter or who gets a long-distance relationship is the issue here. Honey, get your girlfriend a local job and tell her if she loves you she has to stay before you end up childless. Someone has to bend cupid’s arrow a little.


Dear Trinity,
So many people today want to be single. But I’ve been with my lover for five years and it’s as good as day one. Don’t you think a lasting, loving relationship is healthier than being single?
Marriage Minded, Albuquerque, N.M.

Dear Marriage Minded,
Yes, studies show that couples live longer. Maybe it’s related to housework. But don’t forget that not all relationships work and single life does have many adventures; just ask my boyfriends Francois, Luc and Pierre.


Dear Trinity,
I’m 22 and living with my boyfriend for eight months. He’s a hard-working homeowner and provides me with security. However, he’s 26 and when I want to get my freak on with him he’s not interested. I love him, but I have needs.
Sexually Frustrated, Charlotte, N.C.

Dear SF,
Tired and sexually excited rarely go hand in fist. So, try acting and dressing sexier without being too aggressive. Start dinner with some wine. Once he’s loosened up and feeling your hormones then let’s see what happens. And, lastly, take vacations. Couples do it to help their sex life. It’s the rule. Babe, you may have to work as hard as him to put him into the mood. Good luck.


Dearest Trinity,
I just started dating someone really great, but this time I promised I was going to be the best boyfriend ever. Any ideas on being the best boyfriend?
Mr. New Declaration

Dearest Mr. New Declaration,
To keep promises or declarations one has to make a bussiness plan and stick to it. Even when you fail, which you may, pumpkin, get right back up and stick to it again. So lets start with something simple, like:


Trinity’s Tough Declarations For Being An Excellent Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

1. Commitment: I promise to not date, sleep with or search the internet for anyone other than my b-friend.

2. Compromise: I promise to not “throw in the towel” whenever we have a problem.

3. Resiliency: I promise to make time, dinner and endless attempts towards making my relationship healthy and lasting.

4. Adventure: I promise to continually try new things that will make me a better girlfriend: intellectually, emotionally and sexually.

5. Intrigue: I promise to keep a little mystery about myself as well as push myself towards being interesting, exciting and fun.

6. Romance: I promise to be affectionate, charitable and romantic as well as help with the chores.

7. Control: I promise never to be smothering, insecure or controlling.

8. Communication: I promise to always listen and communicate my feelings yet keep some problems to myself so not to burden the relationship.

9. Change: I promise to change bad habits, work on deep-seated issues and not make my mate my therapist.

10. Lastly, Responsibility: I promise to take responsibility for my actions, not blame anyone for being themselves and compromise, till it kills me.


Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.

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