Dear Trinity,
You write about open relationships. There’s no such thing. A relationship
is a “contract,” a “commitment.” If that contract
is broken there’s no relationship. Trinity, I have morality. If
my boyfriend came home after f % * king around then told me he “loved” me,
I’d ram a pipe up his butt. Commitment Or Pipe, Somewhere In Kansas
Dear Commitment Or Pipe,
Some people have “closed,” committed relationships and it
works great. Others have open, committed relationships, which includes
sex outside the relationship, and that works for them, period. Living
all over the world has exposed me to many relationships that shocked
me at first, until I realized that there are more to relationships than
meets the (closed) eye. If you have an agreement to be monogamous, then
you don’t have an open relationship. But if your partner one day
does “cheat,” hopefully, you’ll love him enough to
deal with it “openly.” Agreements change throughout a relationship
whether you or I like it or not. Now cool your pipes, honey!
Hello Trinity,
My boyfriend loves me but wants me to be things I’m not, like doing
sports and watching lots of TV. I don’t enjoy them but I do it for
him. Yet, he still insists that my pleasures of shopping or people watching
are boring. Will he ever let me be me?
I Gotta Be Me, Dallas, Texas
Hello I Gotta Be Me,
When one becomes two there’s a little give and take — sometimes,
pumpkin, even a lot. Always be flexible, but if you start being disrespectful
to yourself you and he may need to have a “talk.”
Dearest Trinity,
I’ve been living in Montreal, Canada, three years and I’m American.
The gay men here are tres gorgeous, but no personality like the states.
Help!
Montreal Men, Montreal, Quebec
Dearest Montreal Men,
Americans do have an open spirit that lacks amongst the beautiful Quebecois
gays. Baby, why do you think Webster’s Dictionary puts “looks” and “personality” 320
pages apart.
Hey
Trinity,
I’m dating a younger guy by 12 years who drives like a maniac. How
do I get him to drive carefully when I’m in the car without sounding
like his father?
Driving Complaints, Cincinnati, Ohio
Hey Driving Complaints,
Some young and old drivers forget they’re on a peaceful date trying
to impress someone, not racing in the Daytona 500. So, sweetie, besides
offering to drive (for the rest of your lives together) try emailing him:
Trinity’s
Slow Tips For Driving With A Date
1.
No tailgating (driving closely behind a car). It’s guaranteed to
scare your date. One car length for every 10 mph please.
2. No road raging (yelling at other drivers). Having to listen to someone
screaming and driving is as awful as being beheaded in the name of Allah.
3. No speeding. It always makes someone feel like they’ve been kidnapped.
4. No breaking the law. If you’re trying to impress a date, running
lights and stop signs definitely won’t do it.
5. No talking on the cellphone. Not even your loving mother wants to watch
you drive and chat. Plus you’re on a date, which means turn off the
cellphone.
6. No driving offensively. It makes your passengers fear for their lives.
7. However, do drive patiently, like you have a famous person in the car.
Your date will feel comfortable, at ease and feel like you care.
8. Do drive defensively. Let others make mistakes around you without having
to prove something. A date is a time to act light, peaceful and forgiving.
9. Do wear your seatbelt. It makes you look responsible.
10. And lastly, do remember, a car is a weapon that can kill you and your
date who is just trying to get to know you, not die with you in the name
of speed.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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