The sexuality, sexual identity, cheating boyfriend and addiction issue
Hello Trinity,
I’m a young man thinking of having a sex change. Any suggestions?
Sex Changes, St. Louis, Mo.
Hello Sex Changes,
Thinking is great, but before acting, think again. Many transsexuals lose friends, relatives, jobs and possibly more. Yet many gain their freedom. So before cutting and pasting a new you, sweetie, lets find you a gender-specific counselor to help determine what’s appropriate for you. Also contact resources such as the International Foundation for Gender Education (www.ifge.org); Dr. Anne Lawrence, a transgender MD, (www.annelawrence.com); Chicago Gender Society, 708-863-7714; and www.pflag.org.
Dear Trinity,
I’ve been living with my stepbrother’s family since our father died. I have to hide my homosexuality, creativity, as well as my religious and political beliefs. I can’t leave for financial reasons. What can I do?
The Cinderella Trap, Providence, R.I.
Dear Trapped,
If you can’t leave or stay then you need a prince or a plan. And until a prince comes along, make a plan. Try going to school and getting some skills so that you can get out on your own. Try getting a job or jobs, save money and get out. And if that doesn’t work, baby, try doing what I do every year: get someone to fall in love with you and take you away. Then your problems will be, ah…different. Check out the cartoon for more insight.
Dear Trinity
How do you know if a boyfriend is cheating?
Mystery Boyfriend, Olympia, Wash.
Dear Mystery,
Ben Franklin once said, “Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes.” Thus, you can never really know if someone is cheating unless you: catch them; rent a video camera and get it on film; hire a detective to take pictures; or do your own detective work with a digital camera, binoculars and a rent-a-car (as well as a disguise). Lastly, if it is true, honey, and you do disclose your proof — do it in a safe, possibly public place and make sure a close ally knows what you’re doing so you don’t suddenly disappear.
Hey Trinity,
I think my boyfriend is hiding an addiction for sex, alcohol and maybe even drugs. How do I find out so that I can help him?
Addicted, Raleigh, N.C.
Hey Addicted,
Besides direct confrontation or an intervention, there are many ways to check, but pumpkin, first read:
Trinity’s Tips For Finding Out If Someone Is A Sex, Alcohol Or Drug Addict
1. Check his living space for bottles of booze, i.e., closets, bathroom cabinets, storage cellars or his car.
2. Notice her daily habits to see if it includes a drink, a toke, a line or a spanking.
3. Introduce yourself to his friends and ask, “Have you ever needed to dump out or destroyed any of his excess drugs or alcohol?”
4. Go to your local AA, SAA or NA meeting places to see if there’s a wanted sign on the wall with her picture on it.
5. Visit his work to see if he locks himself in the bathroom during lunch or spends time bidding on Ebay for XXX videos or chatting in chat rooms.
6. Check the obituaries to see if her friends have either died from liver disease or overdosed.
7. Drive to the local strip joints to see if his car is there. Also check his bed for blow-up dolls.
8. Read the newspaper’s “arrest” listings to see if his or her close friends have been locked up for prostitution or public sexual indecencies, again.
9. Noticing his or her physical deterioration, emotional irritability and very late night visitors means something’s up.
10. Lastly, if his or her bedside drawer has more sex toys, drug paraphernalia and/or miniature liquor bottles then most little girls have Barbies, then someone has an addiction or has found an irresistible sale.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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