Threesomes, divorce, closeted lovers and internet dating
Dear Trinity,
In several past columns regarding threesome couples you’ve stated, “One of the three has to go.” Trinity, there are responsible multi-partner/lover relationships that are open, honest and thriving! Why are you so opposed to open, polyamorous relationships?
ProPoly, Boston, Mass.
Dear ProPoly,
A while ago you may be right, I’ve changed. Really I have! For example, many of my cartoons show me with two men. They may be bearded and muscular, but that’s a fetish of mine and maybe one day a threesome relationship will be a fetish or lifestyle as well. I still have time. So, do I think long-lasting polyamorous relationships are possible? Certainly. Is one person to fight with, I mean feast with, easier than two? You bet it is, honey! And do I think that if someone is in a threesome relationship they should stop? No way. But please take videos.
Trinity Dear,
My boyfriend is so not out of the closet that I’m thinking of leaving him. There’s too much secrecy, but we love each other. Is love enough?
Comfortably Out, Madison, Wisc.
Dear Out,
Hiding anything is difficult. But if you really love him, at least for now, start making room in his closet. Some days, you’ll be able to handle it, some days not. Think of yourself as a movie star who’s playing the “undercover lover.” It may also be that you’re with him “spiritually” to show him that being gay is a great and powerful gift from Oz. Take him to very gay places like Provincetown or Montréal. He needs more experiences to get comfortable with himself. We all do, darling. Being together in a gay environment is the best medicine. Oh, and if all else fails, make him listen to Broadway show tunes. It worked for me.
Dearest Trinity,
I’ve had a total of three lovers in the past 16 years. Each time it ends I lose all my money to my lover. How do I get less burned in a breakup?
Alone and Broke, Hollywood, Fla.
Dearest Alone,
Marilyn Monroe said it best when she sang, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Check out the cartoon for my advice.
Hey Trinity,
The internet is so filled with ways of meeting people that I find myself going out less and surfing the internet more. Sometimes, however, I get myself into trouble. Got any advise for safe internet surfing and dating?
Internet Woes, Rehoboth Beach, Del.
Hey Internet Woes,
Internet dating is now a part of many people’s lives, just like Paris Hilton and age defying creams by L’Oréal. But to stay safe, pumpkin, keep a close copy of:
Trinity’s Cautious Tips For Safe Internet Dating
1. Don’t give out your home address or phone number. Get a cell phone and a post office box.
2. Remember, anyone can get a picture of anybody and retouch anything to make even a cucumber and potato look like François Sagat (porn star).
3. By your third internet date, request or demand a recent above the waist picture.
4. Think globally, but search locally.
5. Before you go somewhere to meet someone, first talk on the phone at least once.
6. If you buy a plane ticket to visit your internet date, split the cost. It’s pricey to fly across country to meet the man of your...nightmares!
7. Just because someone’s very goodlooking doesn’t mean he’ll not have major mood swings and an uncontrollable alcohol problem.
8. Just because someone’s a great writer and poet doesn’t mean she’s not an eccentric lunatic. Including yours truly.
9. Remember, you would also say or write whatever you had to, if you were a desperate introvert who falls in love easily.
10. Lastly, have fun, be silly, be honest, be skeptical and don’t stay up too late.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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