Hey
Trinity,
My ex is mad, not because I dumped him, but because I did it on the phone.
With my last breakup I just wrote a letter and that worked fine. Why do
I have to do it in person?
YBThere, Maui, Hawaii
Hey YBThere,
In no book, Bible or contract is it written, “You can dump someone
like a wimp, i.e., phone, letter, voicemail or post-it note.” Ending
a healthy relationship is like ripping a nursing baby from its mother’s
bosom, especially if you’ve been dating for over a month. In other
words, you must end it like a doctor telling someone they have cancer,
by being present, gentle and ready for tears or anger. Pumpkin, next time
do it in person, please, and close to their home so no one gets killed.
Hello Trinity,
I love my boyfriend but he makes more money than me and it’s a problem
in our relationship. He bugs me to get a better job or go to school to
get a trade. Money means a lot to him. How do I get him to see that life
is simple and not all about money?
Money vs. Life, Albuquerque, N.M.
Hello Money vs. Life,
Is money the root of all evil or the stem that leads to greater achievements?
Pumpkin, it’s not that he wants you to be him but rather to achieve
greater things for yourself and your relationship before the arthritis
sets in. Yes, it’s great to be simple, but being poor is nothing
to strive towards. So listen — to the both of us!
Dearest
Trinity
I’m gay and handicapped. How do you suggest I find dates?
Handicapped & Dating, Cleveland, Ohio
Dearest Handicapped & Dating,
I’d start searching the internet for groups similar to you and make
some dates. And, honey, don’t talk about your handicap as a problem,
talk about the good things that have come from it. But you probably knew
this already.
Hey
Trinity,
I was with the same guy for months putting up with all his crap. Then
he suddenly breaks up with me for someone else. I’m so mad. I wish
him more harm than he could ever imagine. Am I wrong to wish such things?
Unkind Thoughts, Las Vegas, Nev.
Hey Unkind Thoughts,
Being revengeful may be wrong but being mad and/or thinking nasty thoughts
is normal after a murder, I mean a breakup. So, baby, wish away but never
get too carried away — and read:
Trinity’s
Wishes You’re Not Allowed And Allowed To Have After A Break Up
1.
You’re not allowed to wish that he ends up a cancer patient, helplessly
dying in a lonely hotel room because of a bad HMO.
2. But, you are allowed to think of him as a witch in Salem, Mass., 1692,
who is being wrongfully and painfully prosecuted for being a witch.
3. You’re not allowed to wish that she ends up in a terrible car
accident, crippling herself and her new lover.
4. But, you are allowed to think of her as a rat, in a laboratory, being
given a new experimental drug to see if her fat cells can multiply rapidly.
5. You’re not allowed to wish that he becomes a hate crime victim,
beaten by the religious right and left in an alley.
6. But, you are allowed to think of him as a Third World criminal whose
been dumped on an island without food, fire or sex for two years.
7. You’re not allowed to wish that she ends up a kidnapped slave
who’s raped, then buried alive.
8. But, you are allowed to think of her as the star from the movie “The
Birds” by Alfred Hitchcock where thousands of birds peck her to near
death.
9. You’re not allowed to wish him slowly tortured by Shiite Muslims,
then beheaded on the internet in the name of Allah.
10. But, you are allowed to wish him, her or the both of them a simple
life, far, far away from you.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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