Dearest Trinity,
I met the perfect guy. Now we’re thinking of having a commitment ceremony. Do you think it’s too fast?
Too Fast, Atlanta, Ga.
Dearest Too Fast,
What’s too fast, I ask? Are marriage, love and/or science a perfect science? We know that some couples within two days meet, marry and spend 50 years together, while other couples date successfully for 10 years, get married and end up divorced three months later. So, sweetie, if you want to live dangerously I say, “Jump in, yet be prepared for all possible outcomes.” Socrates also suggests if it doesn’t work out, “You can become a philosopher.”
Dear Trinity,
I’ve been in a healthy threesome relationship for over five years now. What do you think of threesome relationships?
Three To One, Provincetown, Mass.
Dear Three To One,
Believe it or not I’ve known many and they all seem to work out great while they are working. I myself, darling, have also thought of tying the knot with a few men at once but…I have to convince my rabbi first! (See the cartoon to see how I approach this subject!)
Hey Trinity,
I’ve been chasing after someone for almost a year now. I call, email, make sure I’m at the gym when he’s there, even take pictures of him when he’s in the park. Shouldn’t I at least get the time of day? I’m not stalking him, just being aggressive about my love.
Not (Just) Stalking, Flint, Mich.
Hey Not (Just) Stalking,
In the perfect Disney animation film he should go out with you. But in reality you are probably frightening him, absolutely stalking him and possibly committing a crime. Dating is a healthy game two people agree on playing together. Stalking is an unhealthy game that one person decides to play on someone else. If you truly love him then you must let him go, not kill him with kindness! And, honey, if you can’t move on then seriously, get some therapy!
Hey Moving In,
Dating and loving someone is very different than living with someone and realizing they need a maid. So, baby, here are:
Trinity’s Church Bell (Ringing) Tips For Couples About To Move In Together
1. Meeting someone, dating and moving in three weeks later is like buying a phony drivers license, practicing a few weeks and then starting a racing carrier. Take your time.
2. Two people with no money, no furniture and no supportive parents, even with a great sex life, spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e.
3. Having some money, counseling and experience with selfish children makes living with a man a lot easier.
4. Yes, you’re in love, but moving across country to find out you hate her friends, house, six cats and her snoring mean you should’ve visited first.
5. Love is blind. Love makes you blind. Blind are those in love. Get the picture? Let the fog of love lift before uplifting your entire life.
6. Waiting a month to a year — and until your first big fight — means you’ll know a lot more about someone than you ever imagined.
7. Remember, moving in with someone means cleaning, cooking, being responsible to and taking on the emotional, mental and monetary troubles of the one you “love.”
8. If the new home has a spare room to call your own, this is worth a million fights over needing time alone.
9. Staying at each other’s places and taking a long vacation together first is great practice.
10. Lastly, getting rid of some of your junk (i.e., the Liberace wardrobe, the library of Congress and the Amelda Marco shoe collection) leaves more room to grow as a couple.
P.S. And if you’re still unsure, try it anyway. Taking risks is what life’s about.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
<
