Does ‘we
should take a break’ mean he met someone else?
Dear Trinity,
My boyfriend moved to Colorado for a while because of family dilemmas
and I stayed here in Kansas. Since he left I haven’t heard from
him much and today he called to say we should take a break. Does this
mean he doesn’t want me or that he met someone else?
Left Behind, Wichita, Kan.
Dear Left Behind,
Those breakup calls can leave you dizzy and delusional. Now, pumpkin,
splash some cold water on your face, mix yourself a martini and listen
up. If someone says, “we should take a break,” then that
definitely, without a doubt means he doesn’t want to be with you
for now; something has changed in his head (or in his bed); he might
have met someone else; or he may just simply feel like he needs to stay
away for a while and doesn’t want to string you along. The only
way to truly know is to outright ask, “What happened?” If
you were boyfriends for longer than a month then you absolutely deserve
to know who he’s sleeping with…I mean, why he’s ending
it.
Dearest Trinity,
Everyone has extramarital affairs. What’s so wrong with it? Plus, I’m
gay. Aren’t the rules different for us?
Extra Extra, Billings, Mont.
Dearest Extra Extra,
Yes, many couples “cheat,” “play” or have “extramarital
affairs,” at least in Hollywood and probably in Billings, Mont. And as
for gay male couples, I will agree that extra sexual activities are not so taboo.
Gay male marriage laws are different. But, honey, instead of spending time outside
the bedroom try — just try that’s all I ask — to spend more
time in your bedroom with your mate. The outside world is very tempting but sometimes
you just have to say no because you choose to respect yourself and what you have.
Hey
Trinity,
I met someone great but I don’t want to date him and it hurts me to hurt
him. I was just dumped and have already dumped someone once this year and I cried.
How can I dump this guy without hurting him?
Dumping Hurts, Santa Fe, N.M.
Hey Dumping Hurts,
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just say, “I’m not interested” and
everyone would be happy. But, sweetie, everyone hates to be the dumper and the
dumpee but that’s life. So try starting with a deep breath and just blurting
out, “This isn’t working out for me.” Or, “I need to
stop seeing you.” Then the rest will flow with poison, I mean passion.
Also remember you are not responsible for everyone’s feelings, most of
the time.
Hello
Trinity,
I’m gay and I have two coworkers who think they’re straight.
How do I tell them gently that, “That’s not possible!” I
want to be tactful but clear.
Save
Our Straights, Palisades Park, N.J.
Hello
SOS,
I also know some straight married men who have quicker comebacks and a
smarter fashion sense than a bar full of gays. Next time you’re all
having a martini together try stirring up reality by reading them:
Trinity’s Facts For What You Instinctively Do Just Because You’re
A Gay Man.
1. You know how to make a fabulous entrance.
2. You truly understand the importance of good lighting.
3. Your best friends were once your boyfriends.
4. You have a medicine cabinet filled with little goodies.
5. You know how to give just the right smile that says stay away.
6. Your fantasies include back up dancers.
7. You have girlfriends who are neither girls nor friends.
8. You can lip-sync to at least one entire Broadway musical.
9. You can spot a toupee from 100 yards.
10. And, lastly, you can comfortably have complicated sex.
Don’t let your questions go unanswered!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of Spiritually Speaking,
a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
<
