Dear
Trinity,
I stood someone up but apologized and now he won’t answer my calls.
What’s the big deal? I called 24 hours later and I had a good excuse?
Ignored, Dallas, Texas
Dear Ignored,
Twenty-four hours! Have you ever stood, waiting 24 hours for anything,
especially to hear someone’s lame excuse? Honey, the truth about
standing someone up is that it makes them feel abandoned, like you had
something better to do and that he or she better get used to being second
on your list. When you care about someone you run to them, not stand them
up. Next time call 30 minutes to six hours before the date to cancel it.
But for now, try flowers and candy.
Dearest Trinity,
Why does it seem like all the good men are taken?
The Single Blues, Elizabeth, N.J.
Dearest Single Blues,
Not all the good men are taken, some of the bad ones are taken too. Pumpkin,
happy couples, argue, ignore each other and have many troubles that they
don’t let you see publicly. So enjoy being single because one day
you’ll have someone to privately fight with too.
Hey
Girl,
I’m a fine looking lesbian and some nights I get hit on by every
girl in the bar but other nights I’m invisible. Why is that?
Hit Or Miss, Boston, Mass.
Hey Hit Or Miss,
Socializing is always hit or miss. It could be the crowd, the music, the
moon, the lighting, where you sit or just the energy of the night. There
really are no rules for why you’re a woman magnet one night and the
next night you’re the invisible woman. So, baby, on the nights that
no stingrays are stingin‚ go home and watch a good comedy. Sometimes
it’s just best to stay home.
Dearest
Trinity,
My boyfriend of six months just broke up with me. He’s so evil.
Why do all breakups have to be evil?
Good vs. Evil Breakups, Prince Edward Island, Canada
Dearest G vs. E Breakups,
Many men who have fewer brains than a fish fossil can simply be evil. And
you just dated one. Sweetie, sit down, sip a martini and email him:
Trinity’s
Timely Good & Evil Scenarios For Breaking It Off
1.
First Or Second Week — Good: Just say, “I’m not interested.” Evil:
Ignoring all calls and emails.
2. Two To Four Weeks — Good: Calling to say, “It’s not
what I’m looking for.” Evil: Calling to say, “I’ve
found someone else.”
3. Up To One Month — Good: Live or by phone breaking it off. Evil:
Sending an email or leaving a phone message breaking it off.
4. One To Two Months — Good: Full communication. They deserve it.
Evil: Disappearing without a trace.
5. Three Months — Good: Clearly, to his face and sitting with him
explain — blah, blah, blah. Evil: Continuously standing him up just
to make him hate you.
6. Four to Six Months — Good: Be loving, compassionate and understanding
while ruining her dreams. Evil: Ending all sexual activities thus forcing
her to go to someone else.
7. Six To Eight Months — Good: Breaking it off at a nearby park or
beach. Evil: Breaking it off on some remote island with no easy way out
for three days.
8. Eight To 10 Months — Good: Letting him catch you crying because, “You’re
not in love anymore.” Evil: Letting him catch you with someone else.
9. Ten To 12 Months — Good: End it, then giving her a few weeks to
ease out of it. Evil: It’ll all seem evil at this point, honey.
10. Up To A Year — Good: At a beautiful dinner and after some wine
saying, “I want to be friends.” Evil: At the same dinner saying, “I
want to sleep with your friends.”
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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