Hey
Trinity,
I met a guy who asked me out and after we had sex he told me he was married. Why
Trinity, why do we singles end up being play ponies for the married elite?
Play Ponies, South Hampton, N.Y.
Hey Play Ponies,
It does seem like every time a single person (or pony) steps into the field
or bar for a cocktail the odds become higher and higher that they’ll
end up a play pony for an already taken jockey. Today, more and more
couples are “playing” on the side especially gay couples where
sexual freedom is extremely common amongst couples of three years plus.
So, honey, before getting taken for another ride, just come right out and
ask, “Are you married?” Why not? I do…most of the time.
Dear Trinity,
I’m a 42-year-old gay man who loves dancing, but the circuit parties
are so filled with drugs and steroids that it’s depressing. Is my
gay generation silently ruining their lives in exchange for being bigger
and higher?
Bigger & Higher, Montréal, Quebec
Dear Bigger & Higher,
I agree it is a silent problem that nobody likes exposing because it’s
so strongly attached to the freedom of gay men while silently being responsible
for the destruction of gay men as well. When I’m at a circuit
party, sweetie, I try to create a healthy circle of friends that inspire
my “clean” experience, while at the same time trusting that
everyone around us is doing their best to get what they need out of life.
That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger…or at least
higher?
Hey Trinity,
I’m in love and want to call my girlfriend everyday but I don’t
want to call too much. Any advice?
Phone Or Not Phone, Peoria, Ill.
Hey Phone Or Not Phone,
I understand love and wanting to hear someone’s voice every day,
even every minute, but pumpkin, there are healthy and unhealthy rules that
must be respected in the first few weeks and months of a relationship.
Besides using good intuition for when to call or not to call and letting
someone get off the phone quickly if they’re busy — remember
to never call more than twice a day or three times a week (the first few
weeks) and never leave long messages. The phrase “short and sweet” has
lots of power.
Hello
Trinity,
I love my boyfriend but after a night at the clubs he smells, we both
do, but I can’t get him to shower. Then he wants to have sex but
he stinks. Help?
Clubs, Cleanliness and Communication, Seattle, Wash.
Hello Clubs, Cleanliness and Communication,
Men, you can take ’em out but you can’t clean ’em up. Listen,
baby, on your refrigerator try posting:
Trinity’s
Hard Tips For How to Prepare For Sex (without taking a shower) After
A Night At The Bars
1.
Before laying down, go down the hall to the bathroom and…
2. If you smoke: brush you teeth, tongue and upper palate.
3. If you touched money, food or other hands, wash your hands clean.
4. If you’ve been sweating, wet some toilet paper and, yes, wipe
your butt clean.
5. If you’re uncircumsized clean your appendage (please) and if you
are circumcised still wipe it clean.
6. If your breath is bad (which it is) rinse with mouthwash. If you’re
sans toothbrush, put toothpaste on your finger and “fake” brush.
7. If your feet smell wet them, wipe them, then sprits a bit of cologne
on them.
8. If your hair smells of cigarettes or sweat, wet a hand cloth and wipe
it or run water through it.
9. If your armpits smell apply some baby powder or just a bit of cologne.
10. Lastly, if you’re gassy, light incense and fart outside the bed
sheets while romantically covering your lover’s ears.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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