Dearest Trinity,
My boyfriend and I have enjoyed a very stable and comfortable year of monogamy. But his part-time job of bartending at a local leather bar is making me very jealous. I’m Brazilian and it’s natural to be jealous. How can I deal?
Jealousy Junkie, Boston, Mass.
Dearest Jealousy Junkie,
Everyone knows that Brazilians are hot-blooded, jealous types. Everyone also knows that jealousy destroys. Like a tornado, jealousy comes out of nowhere, has no course of action except to strike, then damages everything in it’s path. Listen, pumpkin, try focusing on his stable commitment to monogamy, not his job. Wind down or you may end up forcing him to take cover, somewhere safer and less tumultuous than your relationship.
Dear Trinity,
Recently, I saw you in Provincetown, Mass., giving the sermon, “From Drags to Riches.” You mentioned that you write and syndicate “Tell Trinity,” do shows, tours and keep a full-time job. How can I do what you do?
Amazed, San Francisco, Calif.
Dear Amazed,
Any artist, writer or actor will tell you that in between our many full-time jobs we make time for our dreams. When most people are out dancing till dawn, I’m home working on my dreams. But don’t cry for me Argentina, because the truth is I’m living my dreams and living out our dreams means accepting its tedious, backbreaking, impractical work. So, babe, if you want to do what I do, give up your practical life and start working very hard on living your dreams!
Dear Trinity,
My boyfriend and I had our first big fight. Does this mean it’s over?
First Fight, Topeka, Kan.
Dear First Fight,
Happily dating couples often think that they’re in “Oz,” the land of bliss. Then comes the first fight when someone appears to be the Wicked Witch (or Wizard) of the West. But only a cowardly lion needs to run. When the yellow brick road turns gray, sweetie, it often leads to a new awakening. Fighting is a normal and often healthy way two people let it all out. So let this fight make you two stronger not weaker. Practice communication, compromise and forgiveness. Until a house falls on your head, remember even Dorothy had growing pains.
Dear Trinity,
One minute my boyfriend’s very attentive and the next he’s unaware of my very existence. Help!
MEN (ugh!), Glens Falls, N.Y.
Dear MEN (ugh!),
You’re either very young or very new to the ways and woes of MEN. So, honey, here’s some hints for getting through the next 100 years or100 days:
Trinity’s Eye-Opening Tips For Understanding The Lame Activities Of Men
1. Inconsistency, selfishness and cold mood swings are side effects of MSG and men.
2. If he’s madly in love with you and can’t stop thinking about you, but acts like nothing’s going on, then you’re with a man.
3. Emotional expressions are often found in women, artists and many living things, but as for men, try again.
4. “My needs,” “my freedom,” “my sexual desires,” “my side of the story” are phrases most often spoken by…guess who.
5. Some men are extremely kind, sensitive, warm and loving, but these men are mostly found in monasteries.
6. Cooking, cleaning, parenting and taking out the trash are things men find other people to do.
7. If you’re (tired of) hearing, “I’m late,” “I forgot our date” or “Blah, blah, blah, it’s not my fault,” then you are definitely with a man.
8. Occasional flings and apparent flirting accompanied by puppy dog eyes and expensive presents can only represent one gender.
9. Men often appear to be clear-headed, practical, passionate types until the third month of dating.
10. Lastly, now that you know everything about men, don’t fret, because they can also be trained to be incredibly romantic given time.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
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