Do bring a gift for your hostess. It’s the least you can do.
Surviving
a summer vacation with your college friend’s family, or your own,
can be a blast. But it can also be challenging, stressful or downright
disastrous. Here are a few tips — many of which come from personal
experience — to maximize your enjoyment quotient and minimize potential
nightmares.
• Don’t forget to ask what you need to bring — it’s
bad form to arrive with no supplies.
• Do bring a gift for your hostess. It’s the least you can do.
• Don’t leave your room a wreck as if you’re expecting
a maid to service the room.
• Do offer to help with the dishes, trash, errands, etc.
• Don’t say, “Oh, thanks, it’s Louis Vuitton,” if
someone comments on your luggage.
• Do offer to help pay for pizza delivery.
• Don’t hold someone else responsible for your dietary needs:
if you are vegetarian in a house filled with carnivores, bring your own
vegetables.
• Do laugh at your host’s jokes…even if they’re
corny.
• Don’t get into a long diatribe about your liberal point-of-view
if your hostess is — god forbid — a Republican.
• Do listen politely if the aforementioned occurs. Remain neutral
and calm, your silence will speak volumes
• Don’t pack items that would embarrass you or your host; you
never know when a curious child will rifle through your things.
• Do say, “Oh, don’t worry. Children are always curious
at that age,” if the above happens.
• Don’t ever, ever, ever, tell other people how to raise or
discipline their children…even if they remind you of Damien from “The
Omen.”
Do laugh at your host’s jokes…even if they’re
corny.
• Do immediately inform a parent or family member if a child is in
the deep end of the pool alone; unless, of course, the child is Damien.
• Don’t expect children to act like adults. You will be sorely
disappointed.
• Do bring ear plugs if you want to sleep late or take a nap.
• Don’t sleep until noon unless others are doing the same.
• Do bring more than one swimsuit, and even if you have the body of
a model, lean on the side of taste and caution. Don’t wear a Speedo.
They’re never in good taste unless you’re an Olympic swimmer.
Do always wear a cover-up or change into street clothes when indoors.
• Don’t make a pass at your friend’s brother. If he is
unattached and initiates the advances, go for it, but be discreet.
• Do return to your own room and hide any evidence that you were intimate
with the family member.
• Don’t be demanding. Follow the lead of the family.
• Do bring your allergy medicine, and be ready to endure dog/cat fur,
perfume and cigarette smoke.
• Don’t start drinking until an older, established family member
does. And then, pace yourself.
Don’t sleep until noon unless others are doing the same.
• Do comment on how lovely a time you’re having.
• Don’t gossip…it will always get back to someone and
exponentially increase the scandal.
• Do flirt with the next-door neighbors, but don’t initiate
contact without the blessings of your friend.
• Don’t participate in family quarrels, feuds or vendettas;
it can get ugly, nasty and violent.
• Do leave if the circumstances become intolerable; use a creative
lie: have your sister, friend or neighbor call to say your house has been
robbed.
• Don’t return and divulge any family secrets. You will be found
out and regret your transgression
• Do send a thank-you note to your friend and his parents…even
if you had to leave because the circumstances became intolerable.
— Edward Norman is an Image Consultant, Master Designer and Colorist,
and the owner of Edward Norman Image Consulting.
