When
you were a child and utterly convinced you’d been wronged, you
blurted out, “It’s not fair!”
Then your parent, with unbecoming relish, breathed, “Life’s
not fair.”
Here at the end of a month of nationwide judicial decisions against marriage
equality, I can safely make the following report: Life’s still not
fair.
That isn’t a deduction so powerful it would make Sherlock Holmes
pack up his pipe. But if it helps me get through this appalling period,
hey, it’ll do.
In seven states in July, courts ruled sharply against we gay people. Since
we thought we had a good chance to win in Washington, the state Supreme
Court’s demoralizing decision there amounted to one big exclamation
point capping one horrid month. So now, after we’ve taken more quick
hits than a porn site, I find solace in the simple idea that progress doesn’t
happen on a schedule.
In our drive for civil rights, we inevitably endure setbacks and defeats.
Lots of them. Oodles of them. We inevitably experience stretches of time
that make the gay rights movement feel like a disaster movie.
We’re smack dab in such a stretch now, thanks to fraidy-cat jurists.
Doesn’t it seem that just by the law of averages we should’ve
won at least one of those court battles? Add to that the tortured logic
in some of the cases, and all I can say is…life ain’t nohow
fair.
If life were fair, we wouldn’t need to be battling in the first place.
If people were fair, there would be no bigots.
You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating, and I’m just
the girl to do it: Those with power don’t give it up willingly. We
have to demand our rights, because they won’t simply be handed to
us, enclosed in a Hallmark card. Other civil rights struggles have proved
that, and they’ve also shown these aren’t called “struggles” for
nothing. There are some rock-bottom lows to endure before reaching the
goal.
I accept that things can get bad — and then worse. When events turn
depressing or infuriating or crazy and it’s tempting to jump into
a closet or off a bridge, it helps me to have a sense that inexplicable
things happen. Call it a Pollyanna-esque vision for the skeptic.
Also helpful at times like these are a gym membership and the fact that
my side, of course, is in the right. Self-righteous anger leads to more
reps.
History is with us, too. Look at what the other movements accomplished.
Look at how far we’ve come in a short time. In under 50 years we’ve
gone from being the unmentionable people to the cusp of full equality.
How long will we be on that cusp and how do we maintain the strength that’ll
budge us the heck off it? We persevere through each series of defeats.
And we remember that victories happen too. Remember what those feel like?
Me neither. But we’ll experience them again.
I’m certain we’ll snag our rights eventually. So, apparently,
is Washington Supreme Court Justice Bobbe Bridge, who wrote in her dissent, “Future
generations of justices on this court and future generations of Washingtonians
will undoubtedly look back on our holding today with regret and even shame,
in the same way that our nation now looks with shame upon our past acts
of discrimination.”
Amen. What we gay folks need to do is get from now to then. While it would
be nice to go into suspended animation till that day, if we do, we’ll
never arrive. So the struggle continues. To make this country — mirror,
mirror — the fairest of them all. |
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