I like to bring a degree of balance to this column. Though the world provides more than enough material for me to concentrate exclusively on the miscues, ignorance and buffoonery of straight folks, I prefer a more equal opportunity approach.
So I keep an eye out for silly gay people, too. Fortunately for me, someone’s always willing to step into that role.
Everybody knows that flying can be a real trial these days and when you have an individual like John Michael Moody II on your flight, the train starts to look pretty good. Hell, walking starts to look good.
Moody’s recent brush with fame and the law began in Indianapolis, reported The Florida Times-Union, which drew much of its story from an arrest affidavit filed in court. A lawyer from South Florida, Moody, 43, boarded a Southwest Airlines flight and asked, “Where is the gay section?”
Considering what happened next, somebody should’ve told him it was outside on the wing.
The plane took off for Florida, specifically Jacksonville and Fort Lauderdale. Moody and three friends took off for heights of their own, boozing from an alcohol stash in his carry-on luggage.
Flight attendant Cory Cash had a flight he’ll never forget, as he spent much of it fending off Moody’s advances. He said Moody groped his back, stomach and rear end. Moody asked Cash when they could make out and invited him into the lavatory for sex.
I feel guilty if I ask for a second glass of water.
The flight attendant declined Moody’s suave offers and told him to return to his seat. Moody, co-owner of a Broward County title company, responded with curses and verbal abuse.
When Cash noted there were children on board, Moody grabbed a child in line for the bathroom and said, “This child?” Moody then raised the child over his head and headed up the aisle.
To the sloshed lawyer, that might’ve seemed amusing. To the child’s parent, that might’ve been grounds for trying to beat Moody senseless with a tiny bag of peanuts.
Moody continued being boisterous until the flight landed in Jacksonville, where, at the firm request of the captain, police removed him from the plane.
Federal air marshals charged Moody with interfering with a flight crew, which carries a maximum 20-year sentence and $250,000 fine.
His arrest occurred at 12:30 in the morning. Later that day he found himself in court, presumably with a 747-sized hangover.
The assistant U.S. attorney told U.S. Magistrate Howard T. Snyder that it would be hunky-dory with him if Moody were released on his own recognizance. After all, it was alcohol that caused Moody’s behavior and the fellow is a member in good standing of the Florida Bar.
“I don’t care what he’s a member of,” Snyder sniped. “If he did what he’s charged with, it doesn’t matter if he’s Saint Anybody.”
Snyder set bail at $10,000 and required a $2,000 deposit before Saint Anybody could be sprung.
The Times-Union said Moody has been in grief counseling over the recent death of his sister. It also said he has a bankruptcy in his past, although he owns a $685,000 home in Broward County.
I assume the lawyer that Moody hires will provide reasons and excuses for why he fondled a flight attendant and doomed a child to therapy.
Snyder gets to sort all that out. I just hope that the judge deals with Moody as he would a straight guy who had gone all hands and mouth 30,000 feet in the air. Moody shouldn’t be punished for being gay. He should be punished, if things happened as reported, for being abusive, menacing and more stupid than Billy Carter. |
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