The passing of a friend, family member or loved one is never an easy thing. The death of Tammy Faye LaValley Bakker Messner — known around the globe as just Tammy Faye — leaves me with an empty feeling inside. The passing of so many friends over the years from AIDS, along with the death of more celebrated figures in our culture I’ve had the good fortune to know, like civil rights legend Coretta Scott King, queer culture icon Quentin Crisp and dance music artists Vickie Sue Robinson — a stalwart friend of the LGBT community — and Sylvester — an openly gay performer — have made me acutely aware of the passage of time and the effects it has on our livelihood and the impact their loss has on greater society.
With Coretta Scott King’s death we lost a voice that championed LGBT civil rights.
Quentin Crisp’s demise signified the end of an area in queer culture.
The death of Vickie Sue Robinson meant we would no longer dance to the happy supportive tunes she turned out for the LGBT audience she so loved.
Sylvester’s loss captured a politically poisoned moment in time — he was a celebrated figure that fell victim to a plague that the government chose to ignore.
Tammy Faye’s death hit even closer to home.
I have so may fond memories of the times I talked and spent with her. As a kid growing up in the Carolinas, the “Jim & Tammy Show” and the “PTL Club” were a regular part of my video diet.
I can still recall afternoons after school watching the program she co-hosted with her former husband Jim Bakker, “The Jim & Tammy Show.” It was a mixture of variety entertainment that included musical numbers and puppet shows. Tammy sported a moppet black wig with ponytails — much more glamorous wigs lie ahead in her future, of course.
A few years later, the Bakkers would set up shop in Charlotte’s Park Rd. area in a medium-rise building where they would begin the first episodes of the fledgling “PTL Club.”
It was around that time that I had my first encounter with the Bakkers. On a Sunday afternoon, at the Metrolina Fairgrounds Flea Market, I came face to face with the woman who was legendary for her wigs, false eyelashes and mascara.
She lived up to her reputation. In the middle of a hot summer day, she was done up to the nines — both fashionably and cosmetically — from head to toe.
I spilled the beans about how much I had watched “The Jim & Tammy Show” as a younger kid, and that I continued to follow their current programming from time to time. “You’re so sweet,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around me.
Although religious programming was never a must see for me, I watched the Bakker family regularly and took heart in the fact that they never, ever took aim at the LGBT community in a negative way. They maintained that philosophy throughout their tenure — even once they hit the big time with “Heritage USA” and moved to Fort Mill, S.C., where they set up a much larger production facility.
I wouldn’t have contact with Tammy Faye for another 15 years or so — not until she released her second book — “Tammy Faye: Telling It My Way.”
As a young and green freelancer for Creative Loafing in Atlanta, I jumped at the chance to interview the woman who had played an integral part in my childhood years.
“I’ve always loved shopping at bargain stores and flea markets,” she told me at the time. “I’m not surprised we bumped into each other at a flea market. You know I really like TJ Maxx,” she continued. “You ever go shopping there? The next time you’re in Charlotte we should go shopping together.”
We never got around to it, of course.
Another 10 years would pass before I would interview her for Q-Notes and her final book “I’m A Survivor — And You Can Be One Too.”
When we talked again that time she fondly recalled the Creative Loafing experience and a piece I’d done for Charlotte Magazine. She seemed genuinely excited to talk with me again.
A few months later we again met face to face at the Van Landingham Estate for a party celebrating a television program she was doing with British Channel TV-4.
“It’s nice to see you again,” she said earnestly. “How do you like being back in Charlotte?”
“It’s great,” I replied, as we hugged each other. “And great to see you again after all this time.”
We talked a few times more after that — even planning to work together on a potential television show she wanted to produce here in the Carolinas.
But circumstances never permitted that to come about.
Now she’s gone. I — as well as a plethora of individuals in the LGBT community and beyond — can think of nothing but the positive energy she shunted our way.
The day before her death she made one last final appearance on CNN’s “The Larry King Show.” She talked about what lay ahead: “I’m a little bit scared,” she admitted. “But I want everybody to know…friends, family and the fans…I love you and I’ll see you in heaven.”
On her website dated July 16, she left a final message:
My Dear Friends,
It has been such a long time since I’ve written and I am so sorry for the long delay. I have been in bed for almost a year now. I have times when I feel good and times when I feel really bad. But, I have learned one thing about feelings. They have nothing to do with faith in God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He never changes ... I try really hard to eat and keep the food down, but sometimes, it is like my throat would just shut down on me, and the food comes right back up. So through all the prayers, I have finally gained some weight. I have gone from 60 pounds, to 65, for which I am very thankful. I ask in great humbleness that you pray that I will be able to eat without it coming back up. I crave hamburgers and french fries with lots of ketchup! When I can eat that again, it will be a day of victory!
I don’t know if Tammy Faye ever got her hamburger and fries with ketchup — but I know whenever I eat that, I’ll be thinking of her. One thing’s for sure — there will never be another individual like Tammy Faye. I’m glad I had the chance to know her. She really did love us all — and I’ll never forget her energetic presence.
David Moore Editor
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